i m p o s s i b l e

Dear myself,

I’m not fine at all, truly and madly. There seems to be an explosion in my heart and it just waits to tear it to pieces. Sometimes I can’t stand it.

Can you tell me what I should do now my dear? Should I give up or keep trying to find the thing I’ve been waiting for but I even don’t know if it’s really for me. Only God knows. Sometimes I heard a lesson that being happy with your surroundings, your current life but sometimes I heard that keeping holding on ’cause you can make it through.

You know that there’s no exception is this life I’m talking about. It’s just about life and love, jobs and careers. This is a big process that I’m not sure I can wait to make it done but I found  hardly to get it off my mind. Every day I tell myself to stop trying and thinking about it but it didn’t work out.

I miss him. Don’t laugh at me dear. It’s my confession. I’m a normal girl falling in love with a guy I met on my travel and I’m trying to find ways to see him every day. The fact that he’s not from here. He’s from another corner in Pacific Ocean and we’re apart by a 2hr flight. You know what dear, I’ve been trying to find a job in his place. It’s really not easy.

It’s really not.  I’m not sure about a new start there. And I’m not sure about what a heart can tell because I also know the heart is the most sensitive and vulnerable object in the world. I’m thinking about loneliness, sadness and challenges for a start. I’m also trying to find reasons to scare me out.

I am a traveler. I’m proud to tell you that. Then forget all about the negative ideas growing up in my mind, rite? It’s just about looking for a job there now. I’m serious though sometimes I think it’s a joke. Isn’t it a flash? Can you tell me why that flash has ruined me for months? From April to September and it’s already December. How long will it be ruining me?

We all have our choices. I guess I chose to put me between the line.

 

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About 123traveltime

crazy about new places and new faces
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